It makes things less awkward. The whole song and dance of paying for the check can get awkward real fast. One time, a guy I went out with paid the bill while I was in the bathroom. It was perfect. The whole awkwardness of paying for the check was completely avoided and we could continue on our date as if nothing happened. Most guys like the feeling of providing. Who am I to argue with a biological impulse? If he really likes me as much as he says he does, he would let a few dollars go to further prove his point, right?
Online dating has cheapened the dating experience. I doubt we would even be having this conversation before online dating was a thing. Dates have become less special than they used to be. Guys who serial date through online apps would never dream of paying for their date because I mean, who the hell is this chick? Women already spend a lot of money to get ready for a date. If a man offers to purchase a meal at an expensive restaurant for a woman, the reward is the free meal.
Men have a difficult time breaking the cycle as well. Straight men who fail to pay for dates risk being viewed as cheap or uninterested. Even feminist men have good reason to refrain from bucking the norm and asking a woman to pay.
According to one survey of LGBTQ singles, a majority feel the person who initiated or asked for the date should pay. Although this seems like a fair solution, in straight couples, men still do most of the asking, so men would still likely end up with the check. Some have suggested in straight relationships that payment is transactional, and that men choose to pay to increase the likelihood the couple will engage in sex.
However, in a survey of over 17, people, only one in six men believed that women should engage in sexual activity if the man pays the bill on a date. This indicates that for the large majority, paying for dates is not transactional. Paying the bill is only one of many behaviors that fall under the category of chivalry and serve to patronize women. Opening car doors, pulling out chairs and helping women with coats are other classic examples.
To be clear, these behaviors would be beneficial for everyone if both men and women participated in them to the benefit of both sexes. Women cannot expect to be treated as self-sufficient, independent, competent employees at work if our cultural traditions suggest just the opposite.
If you want to help women gain equality, insist on splitting the check. This is a BETA experience. You may opt-out by clicking here. Same-gender dates are much simpler, as they don't come with archaic gender-prescribed rules — just split it down the middle unless you come to another kind of agreement.
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